A letter to Jack

                                                                                                                                                  October 12, 2012

Dear Jack,

I was just thinking about you again today, and wanted to write down some of my thoughts so that one day when you come home you will know how much we have missed and loved you while you were away.

Today is Friday, one of my favorite days of the week because I get to tend your cousin Boston while his mommy and daddy are at work.  This morning Boston and I played cars and trucks in the toy room, we raced over the tracks, then the carpet and finally we went a little crazy and drove them over all the other toys, chairs and tables.  We crashed into each other and laughed more and more with each wreck, it was so much fun.  Then we went for a walk. We have two strollers still hanging in the garage one for you and one for Boston, as I reached for one my heart sank a little more because I wished once again you could be here with us. 

When we came home after enjoying seeing a fire engine, garbage truck and talking to the workers who are building a house down the road,  we walked past the wall of family pictures where the one and only picture of you is hanging.  Boston stopped and pointed to your picture and said Jack.   I love to see this photo every day; it reminds me what a blessing you are to have in our family. 

After lunch and more silly games Boston and I laid down to watch Monsters Inc, and it wasn’t long before he fell asleep which is where he is right now.  We will try to go outside to swing and jump on the tramp if it isn’t raining after he wakes up, if it is raining maybe we will just stay inside and make some cookies. 

Jack, I pray every day for you and your adoptive parents, and hope you are making wonderful memories together.  I hope that you are playing cars and trucks, going on long walks to enjoy the fresh air, and taking in all the beautiful flowers and trees.  I pray that you are seeing the world as it should be seen through a child’s eyes.    You deserve to feel loved, warm, cherished and protected.   I know your adoptive family through your adoptive dad’s side they are very kind and loving people, which does help us to know that you are in a good home.

Jack, we think of you daily. Whenever I see a blonde mommy with a toddler about your age I do a double take, and my heart skips a beat.   There are times I am in the same neighborhood where your grandparents live because your Great Aunt and Great Grandpa live just down the street.  I want to stop and just ask how you are doing, maybe to see a recent picture, to plead to let your daddy see you just once.  It breaks my heart how close you are, but we can’t reach out to you because of the lawyers. I am certain that your daddy’s side has not been shared with 100% honesty with your adoptive parents.  

Boston has now gone home with his mommy, after he woke up from his nap. It turned out to be a cookie making day because of the weather.   Your daddy stopped by for a few minutes to say hi to Boston on his lunch break from work. They played cars, tickled and chased each other for a while until they both were on the floor laughing.  Boston loves his Uncle Jake, and Jake loves his little buddy Boston, but he has a missing part of his heart where you will always fit.  He loves you so much.

Aunt Hailey came home just before Boston left and they were able to sit and read together while his mommy and I listened.  Jack, I am writing to you because this is the only way I have to reach out to you so far.  I know one day you will come home and know the truth why you weren’t with us for a while.  But, until then I don’t want you to miss out on the simple days that you should have had with us. 

I pray that you had a wonderful day today that you played and giggled, watched the rain on the windows, ate warm chocolate chip cookies and felt loved.

I love and miss you little Jack

Love Grandma Jenny