Letter Four: To the paternal grandparents

November 15th, 2011

Dear B and C,

I would like to start by saying that a copy of this letter and the certified mailing receipt has been retained in the binders that we have to share with Jackson when he is older. Next I would like to state that Jake nor his attorney have any knowledge that I am writing to you, I am only doing so to share my feelings and comments as a mother, grandmother and woman. What you decide to do with this letter and information is completely up to you, I am not making any threats or demands, though I am requesting that you contact us, to see and talk to Jake for yourself to understand the truth surrounding Jackson’s birth and family. You can contact us through the blog at getbabyjackback.com, the Facebook page under the same name, at my home (contact information removed). That said I would like to share my thoughts with you regarding, Jake, Jackson (aka Benjamin) and our family. Yes, this is my side but you have the right to know all sides of this story since it directly impacts your lives and family now and in the future.

I have included some photos of our time with Whitney during her pregnancy with Jacksonwhich show that she and Jake were together up through the night before Jackson was born. There was no indication that Jackson was to be given up for adoption, in fact Whitney had requested that I take time off work to care for her and Jackson after she gave birth on January 12, 2011 via C-section. I planned to take 3 weeks off work and had received approval to do so. These are only some of the supporting documents which we have and are willing and wanting to share with you.

B and C, I want to also let you know that I have sent a copy of this letter to J and J, opposing counsel (David Hardy who will share it with Larry Jenkins). Please do not hesitate to discuss this letter and your feelings regarding it with any of them they all know you have been contacted as well.

Next, I want to let you know that Jake, I and my family would have never wished this pain and heartache on anyone, and we are so sorry that because of Whitney lies and deception you and your family are being hurt.

I remember, and know that you are a wonderful and kind family. My parents spoke and dad still speaks highly of you both. This is why I am writing directly to you to share my feeling, and concerns regarding my sweet grandson Jackson, son Jake and our family. You have the right to know the truth, to see and hear Jake’s side and determine for yourself how you will live with the out come.

 I have already shared with you via phone, some of the circumstances surrounding Jackson’s birth. As well as the lies, and deception that Whitney told and used to place Jackson with J and J.

The reason for this letter is ask you to help J and J through this difficult time, which I know you will. Family is the most important thing you have in life and that is why it is so important that Jake and Jackson are not denied theirs. Jake did not give Jackson up, he did not want his only child taken and raised by another family. Jake prepared for, loved and continues to love his son. That is why he can not and will not stop fighting for Jacksonto rightfully come home to him.

The only reason that Jackson was sent home from the hospital with J and J was because Whitney lied. That is it. Whitney did not want to be a mother to Jackson, she had and has her own issues. But, Jake never wanted to give Jackson up, he loves him and prepared and planned for him from the day that he found out Jacksonwas on his way.

B, you told me that your oldest son was kept from you from the time he was four years old. That you understood what Jake was going through. Imagine that you did not have that first four years, that your son did not have your name. Now imagine that your son was told or lead to believe that you placed him for adoption, and did not want to be his daddy. I know that would break your heart, I could hear the pain in your voice from being denied time with your son from 4 years old. Jake, is heartbroken there is not a day that goes by that his arms don’t ache to hold his son. That he doesn’t think about what he is doing and if he is safe, warm and happy. Or what Jackson looks like, and if he is healthy? B, you may be able to relate to these feelings, and understand some of Jake’s heartache and pain.

Our Heavenly Father does not work through fraud and deception, nor does he support the results of those actions. Why should J and J be forced to start their family foundation on lies, deceit and fraud. They should not have to explain or justify Whitney’s lies, and actions. Nor should they have to explain to Jackson (Ben) why an adoption agency who uses the name of our Church commit actions of deception and fraud to ensure that he was denied his loving father and family to be placed with another couple.

Adoption is a wonderful and necessary part of society, but there many feelings and issues for those who are adopted. Some of which deal with feelings of Who am I? Where do I fit? What do I want to do with my life? For those who were adopted, the search for personal identity is complicated every step of the way by the mystery of their genetic background. They wonder who gave them their particular characteristics, and they want answers to questions their adopted parents may not be able to provide: Where do I get my artistic talent? Was everyone in my birth family short? What is my ethnic background?

And the biggest question of all. Why was I placed for adoption?

If J and J are to answer Jackson truthfully they will have to say because your birth mother lied to your father so we were able to bring you home from the hospital and start our family, not him. Your father loved, wanted and prepared for you. He was with your mother throughout the pregnancy; he supported her financially, emotionally and physically. When he found out your mother gave you up, he fought with everything he had. He is waiting to meet you and share the truth about your birth with you. You have a loving family, sister and cousins who are also waiting to meet you. Your father loves you and always has, he wanted you more than anything, but because fraud is allowed in adoptions we got to keep you and create our family.

It is not right to place this on J and J they did not go to LDS Family Services and request a child at any cost, I do not believe that they would have taken Jackson if they had known the truth. 

I know in my heart that you raised J with high morals and values, and taught him to be honest and trust worthy. I also believe that J and J have instilled these same values in their own lives, and will teach and raise their children to be honest and Christ like. But, how are they to do that with Jackson when the only reason he is with them is because of lies, deception and fraud.

Or, is it expected of J and J to defend dishonesty, deception and fraud when it comes to how they got Jackson. It is not right to make them do this, but it is the truth. Someday Jackson will know the truth, whether or not he comes home now or when he is 18. He has the right to know that he was not given up for adoption and that his father and family love and want him.

We as parents of adult children understand that childhood goes by way to quickly, and that before we know it our sweet little ones are grown. Right now J and J are only thinking of this sweet little 10 ½ month old baby, and how much they wanted him.

But, Jackson will grow up and want to know the answers to questions about his birth parents. He will find out the truth one day whether J and J tell him, or if it comes from Jake.

What will happen when Jackson knows that he was denied his birth father and family, because of lies? They are not considering that Jake, Emery Jackson’s sister and our entire family will be in Jackson’s adult life. We will make sure that he knows he is loved and wanted and always has been. We will be very involved in his life from 18 on if he is not returned sooner. We will have 18 years that we will have to make up for, if denied that time with him. Jackson has had a family from the moment his Heavenly Father sent him to his father that has not and will not change.

I am not trying to be mean or spiteful; I am only stating my feelings and concerns.

Jackson has the right to know about himself, he will be told the truth. The best interest for him, J, J and Jake is to return Jackson home and have J and J receive the child that was meant to be placed in their home and family.

J and J are not to blame for any of Whitney’s or LDS Family Services social workers actions, but they now know the truth. They need to take the moral and ethical actions to bring Jackson home. J and J desire to take a child to the temple to be sealed as a family, to be able to bless them raise them as their own for time and eternity. But, to ask them to start their family based on lies is wrong,

To take Jake’s only child from him because of lies and deception is wrong. To make Jackson grow up without his father, sister and loving family is wrong. Heavenly Father blessed Jake and our family with sweet Jackson, I do not understand why or the reason Jackson was taken from us for this time. But, now that the truth is out and everyone has been told of the fraud, lies and deception we have the moral and ethical responsibility to bring Jackson home and change the adoption laws. 

I believe in my heart that we can all work together to mend these wounds, bring Jackson home, and allow J and J to get the baby that is waiting for them.

Respectively,

Jennifer Hanson Graham

Jake’s mother and

Jackson Michael Strickland’s grandma