Dear Mr. Hardy,
I would like to start by saying that a copy of this letter and the certified mailing receipt has been retained in the binders that we have to share with Jackson when he is older. Next I would like to state that Jake nor his attorney have any knowledge that I am writing to you, I am only doing so to share my feelings and comments as a mother, grandmother and woman. What you decide to do with this letter and information is completely up to you. I will wait until December 1st to share with Jake’s attorney the fact that I have sent these letters, so if you would like/need to contact him prior to that time that would be fine. I have also included copies of the letters which I have mailed to J and J, all of the LDS Family Service Agencies in Utah, (J’s parents) and a letter which I will give to Jackson someday.
Mr. Hardy I understand that this is not normal protocol, and that I probably should not be writing to opposing counsel. Though, I am not a party of this lawsuit, I am merely a concerned mother, grandmother and citizen of Utah. I understand as well that you are doing your “job” as the legal counsel for LDS Family Services in this action. But, I also know that you would not be working for this particular law firm if it contradicted your morals and beliefs. This firm not only represents the adoption agency but the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and the morals and values for which the church stands.
The laws in Utah regarding adoption are from my understanding written to protect the child, adoption families and birth mothers. Utah has some if not the most favorable laws in the Nation for adoptive couples who are trying to adopt. Adoption is a wonderful and great blessing for those who are not able to have children, and a very important part of a civilized society. You only need to know of the heart ache in third world counties or review history to understand that there is a great need for adoption to protect innocent children.
But when a child is taken from a birth parent without consent, or through fraudulent actions it is no longer adoption, it is wrong. To allow for fraud in the laws which deal with adoption, creates and allows for deception and questionable actions to be taken.
Dave, if I may I would like to address you first as a man, father, and citizen before your role as an attorney.
You have met Jake and I; you have listened to our “side” of the issues, seen the pictures, read the text messages, emails, affidavits, letters, and reviewed the money orders and various other items that we have. You know of the pain we have been going through, you were able to see it first hand on Jake’s and my face and hear it in our voices. The courtrooms have been filled every time with Jake’s loving and supportive family and friends. You have walked by and heard the pain and concern in their conversations for Jake and Jackson. You even agreed, when asked, when Jackson is told and shown all this information, what should Jake do when asked if he wanted to give Jackson up – lie and tell Jackson that he did not want him? Your response was, of course not, no.
As a father you know the joy and blessing of having children, you understand the excitement of the anticipation to hold and see your new born baby. Waiting, planning and preparing for them throughout the pregnancy. Going to doctor appointments, finding out the sex of the child and picking out a name, buying and preparing the nursery, and having baby showers given by excited family and friends. Jake did all of these same things, he and Whitney planned and prepared for Jackson, there was nothing different in any of these actions taken by Jake than were taken by yourself.
Marriage does not change the feelings a father has for his child, there may be different arrangements made and to consider, but the love is the same. These same arrangements and actions are taken when a married couple with children divorce. Love for your child does not depend on whether or not you are married, divorced, single, or widowed. Jake’s love for Jackson is that of a father, strong true, and unconditional, it has not and will not ever change.
As a family man you understand the grateful feelings when you look around at your family this Thanksgiving. You know all of those feelings of gratitude and blessing as a father. Please now consider Jake, who is also a father but denied his son because of fraud, lies and deception, there will be an empty spot at his table and heart. Can you imagine how you would feel if you one of your children were taken from you because of the lies, misrepresentation, and fraudulent actions of another? And then to have the reaction of the State and laws be supportive of those actions?
Please consider, J and J the prospective adoptive couple who have Jackson, a child that they had longed for and now have because Whitney lied. They are grateful today but worry about tomorrow, will he be taken home to Jake or not. And if Jackson is not returned to Jake now, what about when Jackson is told the truth, how will they explain it. Their Thanksgiving table is full but their hearts are heavy with worry. Is this right? Is this what they were seeking when they came to LDS Family Services to adopt, I do not believe so.
Heavenly Father does not work through lies and deception, nor does Heavenly Father bless the outcome from those actions. To give Jackson to J and J and ask them to create their family on a foundation of fraud and deception is not right, fair or just. Such a foundation will not stand strong, though that is the foundation which you and the laws are asking them to build their family on. Why, would anyone do this to them, Jackson and Jake. It is not morally or ethically right.
Jake is a good, strong, hard working, loving and kind man. Jake has the ability to raise Jackson and is not any different than J and J. Jake is a 24 year old man, employed, financially, physically and mentally stable. Jake has never had any issues legally, he has attended college and will be returning soon to complete his degree. Jake has extended family and friends who support and love him, of whom you are very aware.
J and J are 30 years old, employed, I would assume financially, physically and mentally stable. I also know J’s extended family and they are kind and supportive as well. So please tell me what makes J and J better parents than Jake, why would Jackson be better with them than Jake, his biological father who loves and wants him?
Lies, fraud and deception on the part of Whitney are the only reasons that Jackson is with J and J and not Jake. So I am confused, is it only because they are married and Utah law states that fraud is ok? And if that is it, are we as citizens of a civilized society and members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Days Saints to support that which our Heavenly Father does not – fraud, misrepresentations and lies. I for one do not feel that I am the judge of my fellow man, but I also do not support and condone the immoral and fraudulent actions of someone else.
Jake was blessed with his son from Heavenly Father, but Jackson was taken from Jake through the lies and deception of another. What type of society are we to stand by and not right this wrong? What does it say of us as citizens of Utah to support adoption laws which allow for fraud and deception? Why would there ever be a law which allowed for fraud, lies and deception especially one that deals with adoption, children and families.
Mr. Hardy as an attorney I understand that you have the job to uphold the law and protect the interest of your client. The last part of this law section which states “Custody determinations shall be based on the best interest of the child, in accordance with the provisions of section ”.
Please don’t forget that J and J are also your clients, through LDS Family services, and if you do not return Jackson to Jake, you will be supporting the fraudulent foundation for them to build their family on. If that happens let me ask you, will you be there for J and J when Jackson asks about his birth father and why he was adopted? Will you be there if and when Jackson is contacted by Emery or Boston his sister and cousin and told the truth, will you be able to explain this to any of them? Or will you and LDS Family services leave that to J and J to handle?
I am not acting out of meanness or spitefulness. I simply need a voice for my frustration and anger for the present laws of our state. And please realize these questions will one day be asked.
The biggest question is will you be able to answer Jackson when he asks you “why”, when you knew that he was taken from his loving father and family because his mother lied, why he was not able to go home. Will you merely state because you were doing your job, the laws stated that it was ok for your mother to lie and deceive your father. And until Jackson is able to ask you himself, I am asking you Why?
Why, don’t you inform your clients LDS Family Services that this case is unique and through your investigation it has come to light the truth of Whitney’s actions, her lies and deception. Therefore the most appropriate and correct action to take is to return Jackson to his father/mother and proceed to place a child who was given up for adoption by both parents with J and J.
Though I am asking that you return Jackson to his father, I understand that Whitney relinquished Jackson to LDS Family Service. But, in light of Whitney’s deception and lies it would be in Jackson’s best interest he be placed with Jake until custody can be resolved through the courts. Though if it is necessary to return Jackson to Whitney with Jake’s knowledge, then Jake can take the appropriate actions to resolve custody.
Why don’t we correct this tragic and inappropriate mistake before the wounds are beyond repair for Jackson, Jake, J and J and their extended families. Jackson is only 10 ½ months old he will be able to adjust and continue to grow and develop in a loving home with Jake, and his family. J and J will be able to be placed with a child to start their family on a solid firm foundation of truth and honesty. This is in the best interest of the child which should be our number one concern.
Mr. Hardy you do have the power to correct this injustice, and stop the motion of devastation set in place by Whitney’s lies and deceit. LDS Family Services will adhere to the strong advice of their counsel, and Jackson can and should be returned home to Jake. Mr. Jenkins of Wood and Crapo the attorney for J and J should also be made aware of the fraud and misrepresentations of Whitney and the actions of LDS Family Services to ensure that Jake was not advised of Jackson being placed for adoption without his consent. Though the law states lying, deception and fraudulent actions are allowed in Utah adoptions as you clearly stated in defense of this case on September 27th in front of Commissioner Tack. Mr. Jenkins will have to continue with an adoption which would be condoning J, J and Jackson (Benjamin) to a family life that started on lies, deception and fraud. A family that is sentenced to pain and heartache, which they did not cause.
I do not believe in my heart that you are the type of man who sets aside your morals and ethics when you are doing your “job”, again if you were you would or should not be an attorney who represents the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Our family, values, honesty and integrity are the most important ways to define each of us in this life and are the only things which we can take to the next. This is why I am asking you directly to do what is right and bring Jackson home. Do not deny him his loving father and family, Jackson is Jake’s only child, he is a blessing from our Heavenly Father, Jackson was taken from Jake through lies and deception, and it simply is not right.
I am asking you as an attorney to use your position of power to ensure justice for Jackson, Jake, J and J.
I am asking you as a father to understand the unconditional love which Jake has for his son, and do not deny him or Jackson the right to be together as a family. Bring Jackson home.
Last I am asking you as a man, and a citizen of the United States of America not to stand for this act of deception to be one that denies Jake his protected constitutional right to be a parent. Also to protect Jackson an innocent victim of this fraud and deception, Jackson has the right to know his father and family. He was never given up or not wanted. Bring Jackson home.
I understand you can and will do with this information what you see fit. Know that I will do the same, and that I will be sharing this letter with Jackson someday so that he will someday understand what actions I took to correct this wrong and to bring him home. Whether that is, as it rightfully should be today, or if we have to wait for 18 years, Jackson will be told the truth about everything.
Respectfully,
Jennifer Graham
Jackson’s Grandma
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