Letter Five: To the maternal grandparents

November 15, 2011

Dear J and S;

I would like to start by saying that a copy of this letter and the certified mailing receipt has been retained in the binders that we have to share with Jackson when he is older.  Next I would like to state that Jake nor his attorney have any knowledge that I am writing to you, I am only doing so to share my feelings and comments as a mother, grandmother and woman.  What you decide to do with this letter and information is completely up to you, I am not making any threats or demands, though I am requesting that you contact us, to see and talk to Jake for yourself to understand the truth surrounding Jackson’s birth and family.   You can contact us through the blog at getbabyjackback.com, the Facebook page under the same name, (contact information removed) That said I would like to share my thoughts with you regarding, Jake, Jackson (aka Benjamin) and our family.  Yes, this is my side but you have the right to know all sides of this story since it directly impacts your lives and family now and in the future.

I have included some photos of our time with Whitney during her pregnancy with Jackson which show that she and Jake were together up through the night before Jackson was born.  There was no indication that Jackson was to be given up for adoption, in fact Whitney had requested that I take time off work to care for her and Jackson after she gave birth on January 12, 2011 via C-section.    I planned to take 3 weeks off work and had received approval to do so.  These are only some of the supporting documents which we have and are willing and wanting to share with you. 

J and S , I want to tell you first that Jake would have never intentionally caused the heartache and pain which your family has to go through these last 10 ½ months.     We would never wish this upon anyone and only hope and pray that all is resolved quickly so that we can all begin to heal. 

I am pretty sure that you are aware of who I am, and the situation which involves J, J, Jake, and Jackson (aka Benjamin).  I would assume that you also know that Jake is rightfully contesting Jackson’s adoption, and wants his son home with him.  Jake did not ever want to place Jackson for adoption, instead he was excited and preparing for the birth of his son with Whitney.  Jake supported Whitney throughout the pregnancy, financially, emotionally and physically.  There is supporting evidence of this which we want to share with J and J, and that someday Jackson will be able to see and read it as well. 

Whitney was with our family as well as Jake during the pregnancy, she attended Jackson’s cousins’ baby shower and the baby shower for Jackson.  Whitney and Jake had planned to raise Jackson through joint custody, Whitney had told Jake she was not ready to remarry, the truth was she was and is still currently married, though Jake did not know this until January 2011. 

Therefore Jake prepared a nursery at our home so that he could care for Jackson. Jake purchased the crib, bedding and supplies necessary for Jackson.  I painted the nursery to match the bedding Jake had chosen.  Whitney also helped with suggestions for the room.  She commented on how excited Jackson would be to have so many colorful animals to look at, and she stated her favorite was the pink flamingos.   There was no indication that Whitney was planning to give Jackson away.

I am writing to you only to share my feelings as a mother and grandparent, feelings that I am sure you can relate too.  As a parent some of the hardest and most rewarding times are when we watch as our children pay the consequences for their actions, good and bad.  But, the most devastating is when the actions of others intentionally cause such unbelievable heartache and pain for our children.  Because Whitney lied to Jake, his son was taken from him.  Jake lost his son, Whitney and Whitney’s daughter Emery on January 5^th when Whitney finally told him that she had given Jackson away.   In that moment Jake lost his son, what he had with Whitney as a couple, and what he had thought was their potential family.

As a grandparent, I know you feel the same strong unconditional love for your sweet grandchildren as I do.  You know the feelings of excitement and the thrill that your child will be able to have by being a parent.  We both have had the joy of holding these sweet blessings from our Heavenly Father in our arms.  We know that there is no greater love that that of a parent/child and grandparent/grandchild.  Therefore, you know why we cannot and will not give up on our sweet Jackson.

Growing up I lived in the same ward as B and C, J’s parents.  At 16 years old I babysat J and his brothers, and they still see and know my siblings and father.  B and C are wonderful, kind people as I believe you are.  I am sure that you raised J with the same high morals and strong values which J was raised with.  It was a comfort when we found out where and who had our sweet Jackson, we knew that he would be cared for and safe.  I also believe that J and J did not request LDS Family Services to give them a child at any cost, and that if they had known the lies, deception and fraud surrounding Jackson’s birth that they would not have taken him. 

Heavenly Father does not work through lies, deception or fraud, nor does he bless the outcome resulting from those actions.  It is not right or fair to ask J and J to build their family foundation on fraud.  It would not and will not stand the test of time and eternity.  A family foundation needs and must be one of love, honestly and support.  Jackson will be told the truth one day of his birth whether it is when he is old enough and with his father, or when he is 18 and with J and J.

I was able to find you and your address through Google.  Jackson will not have any problem finding Jake, or our family with the advancements in technology as it is today and will be in the future.  He will most likely find Jake before 18.   Jackson has a sister, Emery and a so far one other cousin but there will be more, and all will be told about Jackson when they are older.  We will want to make sure they know how much we love him, and if he is not returned home to be raised with them that we will find and tell him the truth when he is 18.   This is not a threat this is reality, Jackson has the right to know the truth, his father and loving family.

 This letter is only to share with you my feelings, and concerns for Jackson first, then for J, J and Jake.  To make J and J build a family upon lies is wrong, and to deny a father his only child is wrong.  Though we are still in the middle of the court battle, Utah adoption laws support fraud committed by the birth mothers.  Therefore, Whitney, LDS Family Services, and the attorneys all can feel good about upholding the laws.  But, they will not be the ones who have to face Jackson (Ben) and tell him that because of dishonesty, fraudulent actions and misrepresentations by his birth mother and adoption agency he was taken from his loving father and family.

How, are J and J to raise Jackson with the same high morals, values and ethics which they were raised with?  When the only reason that Jackson is in their family is because of Whitney and LDS Family Service’s  lies, deception and fraudulent actions.

Please talk with J and J about Jake and this letter, please discuss the future when Jackson is told the truth if he is not returned home to Jake.   Then ask why you would want to put Jackson through that.  

There will be a child who has been placed by both parents waiting to come to J and J.  With that child they can build their family on honesty and truth which will stand the test of time for all eternity. 

J and J know that Jackson was not given up for adoption, that Jake has rightfully contested this action.  It is now up to them to stand for what is right, morally and ethically and return Jackson to Jake.  They need to let Jake see his only child, hold him, count his little fingers and toes.  Know that he is healthy, and happy.  No father should ever be denied these small yet so very important acts. 

Jake as missed Jackson’s birth, his first cry, and so many other milestones over the last 10 ½ months.  Jake has been denied information regarding Jackson’s health, no one would even share Jackson’s weight and height at birth with him.  Jake was able to get a picture from Kyle, Whitney’s husband who is working with us to bring Jackson home.  This is the only way Jake has to see his son, he has it as his screen saver, framed by his bed, and in his wallet.

 Understand, Jackson was and is loved and wanted by his father.   Know that Jake is a good, kind and hard working man who will be able to provide for himself and his son.  Jake was raised with high morals, and values, he also has supportive family and friends. 

Before any of us raise an eye to judge one another remember that will be taken care in the next life.  We in the meantime have our free agency and all must pay the price for our choices.   We must also stand for what is right and true and defend and protect those who are harmed through lies, deception and fraud.   Jackson is the innocent one in all of this and he does not and should not have to pay the ultimate price of losing his loving father and family do to lies, deception and fraud.

Jackson has the right to be home with Jake.   J and J have the right to adopt a child who was placed for adoption by both parents.  They should be able to take that child to the temple to be sealed for time and all eternity, and know that their family is based on truth and honesty.

                                                                                                Respectively

                                                                                                Jennifer Graham

                                                                                              Jake Strickland’s Mother and

                                                                                                Jackson Michael Strickland’s

                                                                                                Grandma