To the adoptive couple:
I just wanted to take a minute to express my deep heartfelt apologies for all that you have had to go through these past ten months. I am sure your life has been far from easy. It's unbelievable how one selfish decision, by Whitney Pettersson, could have impacted and ruined dozens of lives forever. Both our lives will be forever changed no matter the outcome of this tragic ordeal.
It's crazy how small of a world we live in. After all, we only live 45 minutes away from each other. Soon after we found out who you were, we immediately had a stronger connection than just Jack. Did you know that my mother babysat you when you were a baby, adoptive father? Look really close at the pictures in the background. Also, did you know we have reached out to the paternal grandparents and shared with them the true situation and information and they thought that they would be able to work something out? Not the case. Well, we have! We have tried to make contact with you to share with you MY side of the story, which Jack will hear someday.
Unfortunately, this "family" you have, is not based on honesty, and will one day unravel. This baby you have named "Ben" will never truly be your son. I am his biological father who loves him and ALWAYS has loved him and will fight for him until he is my arms.
This day and age, technology is everywhere. We will use this to our advantage if we have to find him one day. We have books and books of information, WE WILL share with Jackson! He will know the absolute truth.
This battle has been long and exhausting and it would be in everyone's best interest to stop this heartbreak now, before the wounds get deeper. Give Jack back and get the baby that you always wanted. One that truly was consented to adoption to be in a better home, not one that was UNRIGHTFULLY STOLEN from his father that wanted him.
To the adoptive couple, please do what is ethically and morally right. You know deep down in your heart, and the faith that you believe in, that Jackson is not meant to be with you. I understand the pain that you will be in, but it will only be so much worse, when HE can make his decisions. When he becomes an adult, and his decision is to have nothing to do with the people who betrayed him the most, his adoptive parents.
You know how to get a hold of us! Please do this so we can all move forward with our lives.
It's up to you to get Jackson home where he belongs.
PLEASE DON'T DENY JACKSON, HIS FATHER AND FAMILY.
I am dying to meet my son, and see the gorgeous little boy I have created.
Sincerely,
Jake Strickland, Jack's Grandparents, Aunt's, Uncles, SISTER, Cousins, and many many extended family and friends
Jake, both Kim and I have shared this as well on Facebook and Google+. Please let us know if there is anything that we can do for you, and have your mom call Kim as well. You are in our thoughts always, and we know that in the long run, you will get your son back!
ReplyDeleteI will never understand anyone who thinks it is okay to tear apart a biological family so that they can "have" a child
ReplyDeleteWow, this is such a sad story. I know adoption very well and I think that for the most part it is a wonderful miracle for a baby to be raised in a two parent stable home. Women who place their babies for adoption are courageous and strong and unselfish for giving their beloved child whom they love so much an environment that is best suited for a child. Women do not "give up" their children. You give up what you don't want. Every birth mother wants their child. A real mother doesn't do what she wants, she does what she feels is best for her child. If this Whitney is LDS she may have also been following the council from the prophet. Gordon B Hinkley made it clear that if a couple finds themself in an unplanned pregnancy, they should be encouraged to marry if the marriage has the probability of being successful. If it is clear that marriage is not the answer then it is best to place a child in a two parent loving home where the child can receive the blessings of being sealed.
ReplyDeleteIf the birth mom is not LDS then she of course was still thinking of what was best for her child. She probably did nto want her child going back and forth from Mom to Dad's house. That is like a divorce before the divorce. Not stable.
However, manipulation is not right, should not be done. Birth mom's who know they are going to place should be open about it and get the birth father on board choosing a couple together and so they are both able to have a loving open relationship with the child and the adoptive couple.
Now what to do ???? Whatever is in the best interest of the child is what should happen.
Not knowing either party at all. Just someone who stumbled across this story. Unselfishness from both parties for the sake of this precious child should be at the forefront of the agenda. Birth Father should stop fighting to get his son back and develop a relationship with the couple so he can have a relationship with his son. That is vital!!!! The couple need not be so posessive of their child because birth father is only wanting a relationship not custody and a relationship should be encouraged and welcomed. Birth mother should apologize to both parties and continue her relationship with couple and son.
Adoption can be a beautiful thing. It should be done the right way. It can be done the right way now if all parties let go a little and do what is best for Jackson/Ben!
WOW!!! The anonymous comment above me is obviously in the dark about WHO the real Whitney is. It seems to me you live in a bubble world and have never crossed paths with Whitney Pettersson. Maybe you should learn who she is first BEFORE opening your mouth. I bet your choice of words would DRASTICALLY change.
ReplyDeleteYou have no idea who Whitney is
DeleteDon't judge others until you judge yourself,
Anonymous 3:43 PM: Let me guess, are you an adoptive parent? Oh wait, wait, wait. Do you work for LDSFS? Adoption is *not* the miracle and blessing it is cracked up to be and the word is getting out. God demands the TRUTH be told, and the truth of the matter is this child DESERVES to be raised by his FAMILY. Not some self-righteous adoptive couple who have claimed ownership over him.
ReplyDeleteEducate yourself about adoption loss and trauma. Until you do, you sound foolish and naive and like you are drinking some very special kool-aid handed out by LDSFS.
I am an adoptive mother in Illinois (just signed your petition). I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Utah has the worst adoption law of any state I've researched.
ReplyDeleteThe sad fact is that this kind of situation is going to hurt the child (and eventually the adult) who was adopted fraudulently, more than anyone else. I would council Jack's would-be adoptive parents to read some accounts from adult adoptees and learn how it feels to process even "good" or ethical histories of adoption--let alone unethical ones.
A family built on a lie is an unhealthy family. A family built on secrets is a ticking time-bomb.
Just read the first anonymous post above. Have to say, anon, I've spent eight years researching adoption (began the day we decided to adopt) and while I agree with a kernel of what you say--that adoption can be a blessing--I can't agree with any of the rest of it. Singleness, poverty, youth--none of these are reasons to separate parents and their children. Adoption should be a very, very last resort only. I hear that you are concerned primarily with the best interest of a child, and I can promise you that not being adopted is better for a child than being adopted whenever that is a possibility. Adoption is a trauma that has to be processed for an adopted person's entire life and while it can turn out well for many it is still a trauma. It's better never to suffer such a trauma than to have to process it at all.
ReplyDeleteNo matter what happens to Baby Jack, he is going to have to process this event that began before he was born and marked his entire infancy. It will leave scars.
Adoption is not a simple thing, much as we might like it to be.
LilySea - THANK YOU for speaking up. As a first mother, I cannot urge people enough to read ADOPTEE accounts of what adoption has done to them, even "good" ones or "necessary" ones. Bless you for educating yourself and doing the hard work it takes to understand the complex social arrangement of adoption.
ReplyDelete